Top Discovery at the NSF in 2009

What initially began as routine internal  investigations of possible grant fraud within the National Science Foundation has since been buried in Porn,    The inspector general forcasts a reduction in recoveries from grant-fraud  investigations due to the time spent rooting out an estimated six-fold increase in porn surfing at the agency.  The Washington Times is credited with this exclusive on your tax dollars at wank.

One senior executive has been forced into retirement after the revelation of 331 work days surfing porn and indulging in pink chat with partners in various conditions of undress.  He’ll now be able to porn-chat full time on his retirement pension at taxpayer expense.

If you’ve ever been marveling at the criteria for awarding NSF research grants,  the answer may lie with the heavily distracted agency staff.  The faculties of sound judgment are surely impaired when the blood supply has been diverted away from the cerebral cortex through through unauthorized access to “stimulus packages”.

Researchers, those odd responses from the NSF   to your grant applications may have an explanation………..