No Appreciation of Satire at TSA?

» House Bill Would Criminalize Satire of TSA Alex Jones’ Infowars: There’s a war on for your mind!.

From the funspot of Infowars comes some text from H.R. 3011 concerning the Transportation Security Administration  “Department of Molestation”.

This bill contains language to prohibit the use of logos and words containing TSA, or variants thereof, and imitations of the logo design, and make such use a federal crime.

Apparently  the extensive body of satire and parody of the TSA  has hit some raw nerves.

The language exists in section 295 of the bill, so if you’re making money, or deriving amusement from  making fun of the TSA,  you had better write your congressman.

To Boldly Grope Where No Hand Has Gone Before

TSA’s  next frontier is the cavity search.  We need to be safe from the anal dwelling bombs.

As people become accustomed to “love pats” at the airport,  the TSA  employees will become bored, and feel a need to explore further.

Surely Janet Napolitano remembers that NASTY  old Eddy Murphy song  from the 80’s………

and you KNOW she wants to go there.     As you can see, asking people to remove their prosthetics,  and that includes you breast cancer survivors,    is not a problem for Janet and her minions.  People living with ostomies are also targets for the TSA gropers.

Janet’s theme song  (warning, it’s sicko)

So,  are we going to wait for CAIR and the Muslims to put a stop to this,   or are we going to make our government really busy until the TSA abandons this unseemly interest in our privates?

Flying Might Become a Kinky Sport.

Some people  who are unlucky in love have resorted to satisfying themselves with purchased services.

TSA now offers a service for those who like to expose themselves……. the full body scanner guarantees a captive  audience.

Also there  is the standard pat down for those who like a bit of light personal  service.

A more vigorous form of stimulation is now available (since October)  called the “resolution pat down” if one prefers heavier physical contact with more attention  given to the private parts.

These services can be provided in conjunction with short flights for quite a bit less money than one might pay in the the urban areas for clean, professional stimulation.

These obvious facts point towards a tax payer supported industry which will service a regular clientele of fliers who OPT IN for special sexual services at BARGAIN rates.   An airline ticket and a bit of metal apparel to ring the alarm are the only requirements for admission to the TSA Relaxation Center.

You didn’t think your taxes would be at work this way, DID you!?

It appears that the red-faced TSA will be investigating  Johnny Edge, the now-famous blogger for his temerity in refusing to fly, because he did not need or want the above mentioned services.

Pharmer encourages John  to monetize the blog, to raise funds for the fine, or for legal services he might engage  in giving more publicity to the TSA “services” enumerated above.


A description of a pat down plus, with TSA security putting hand down the pants.